Dan Rather, Katie Couric, and a tough old U. S. Marine
Gunny were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The
leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant
them each one last request before they were beheaded.
Dan Rather said, “Well, I’m a Texan; so I’d like one
last bowlful of hot spicy chili. “The leader nodded to
an underling who left and returned with the chili.
Rather ate it all and said, “Now I can die content.”

Katie Couric said, “I’m a reporter to the end. I want
to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene
here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone
will hear it and know that I was on the job until the
end.” The leader directed an aide to hand over the
tape recorder and Couric dictated some comments. She
then said, “Now I can die happy.”

The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. U. S.
Marine, what is your final wish?” “Kick me in the
butt,” said the Marine. “What?” asked the leader? “Will
you mock us in your last hour?” “No, I’m not kidding.
I want you to kick me in the butt,” insisted the
Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and
kicked him in the butt. The Marine went sprawling, but
rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside
his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the
resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled
out his carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire.
In a flash, all the terrorists were either dead or
fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather and Couric, they
asked him, “Why did you ask them to kick you in the
butt first? Why didn’t you just shoot them in the

“What,” replied the Marine, “and have you two jerks
report that I was the aggressor?”

So I laughed at first, but it quickly turned to a wry head shaking unfortunately that’s all to true to life smirk.